


Idle Hands

by AmazonDjinn



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Sexy Times
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-20
Updated: 2014-05-20
Packaged: 2018-01-25 22:04:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1664102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmazonDjinn/pseuds/AmazonDjinn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mordin was the one who needed supplies, and that was why they were heading to the Citadel... Right? This trip has nothing to do with needing an excuse to see Thane.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I purposefully left descriptions of Fem!Shep vague so everyone can imagine their own Shepard here. 
> 
> First time posting, but I've been reading through several fandoms here on AO3 for over a year!

Shepard had never been one to buy into the hype that surrounded her name. But she couldn’t help the pride that swelled within when she walked through the Citadel with her crew. This time it was Wrex, Mordin, and Garrus behind her as she led the way to the embassies. The company alone was enough to draw looks of awe; and she enjoyed those looks even more when they were all fully armored, weapons just a reflex away, like they were today.

Despite their best efforts to get Mordin all the supplies he needed from Omega, there were still some things that he could only procure on the Citadel. 24 hours was all they could spare, but it was enough time for her entire crew to get a reality check before they hit a relay to head back to Tuchanka. 

Wrex would never admit it, but he was Mordin’s shadow while Eve was aboard and the cure being synthesized. She was pretty sure she could trust Wrex and Mordin to gather supplies on their own, but she couldn’t resist escorting a Krogan and a Salarian around the Citadel. Aside from the amusement it brought her, she was making a statement. 

Many of the well-to-do people on the Citadel, Council included, had yet to fully comprehend the magnitude of the Reapers and the ramifications their presence held for the entire galaxy. A human Spectre strolling through the Citadel with a Krogan mercenary and a Salarian scientist (and Garrus for good measure – because why stop at only two species that hate each other?) at her side was as diplomatic as Shepard could get. Without ever having to say anything, she knew the presence of these four races together spoke volumes: First Contact War and Genophage be damned.

Once all the posturing was done and Mordin had what he needed, Shepard went back to the Normandy with them while Garrus left for the docks. He spent every free moment down there helping refugees from Palaven any way he could. 

She changed out of her armor, freshened up, and threw on her civvies. On the way off the ship again, she stopped in the cockpit. “How much time have we got left, Joker?”

“Just over 19 hours, Commander.”

Had she already lost nearly five hours walking around with Mordin and Wrex? “There’s never enough time,” she mumbled to no one in particular. “EDI,” she spoke before Joker had a chance to say anything else, “I’m going off comm.”

“Uhh, Commander…” Joker began but was cut off as Shepard walked away.

“Off comm, EDI,” she called over her shoulder, ignoring Joker’s protests and not waiting for a response from EDI.

Of course, the real reason Shepard never minded coming back to Citadel space was Thane. Ever since she’d found out that he was at Huerta Memorial, she stopped by the hospital every chance she got; which wasn’t as often as she’d like. The first time she’d seen him, they spent a blissful afternoon alone in his apartment, making up for lost time as much as his lungs would allow. She’d missed a meeting with the Council, but it’s not like they ever listened to her anyway. 

She found Thane where she always found him; sitting in a lounge chair in front of the floor to ceiling windows that overlooked the Citadel’s sprawling arms.

“Hey, handsome,” she can’t help the smile when she says it.

He doesn’t look at her, he never does right away, but his slow smile lets her know he’s heard her. “Siha,” he drawls in that voice that could melt all the ice on Noveria. “What a pleasant surprise,” he finally turns as she moves another lounge chair closer. She takes a seat and he reaches for her hand, drawing it to his lips for the lightest kiss. 

“How are you,” she asks, squeezing his hand gently.

“No worse than ever,” he says with a smirk. Always the same response, regardless of his condition. Denial is the game they play because to harp on his impending death is a disservice to what little time they have left with each other.

The last few times Shepard has visited, she’s done most of the talking. She notices but doesn’t mention it. She’s quite good at this denial thing. 

They sit in the Huerta Memorial patient lounge, holding hands and talking like they are the only two people on the whole Citadel. There are some days where patients, mostly soldiers, will recognize Shepard and politely interrupt to share a story or give their thanks. It makes her uncomfortable, but Thane beams as he watches her interact with the people whose lives have changed because of her. 

After a young soldier leaves, she catches that look on Thane’s face. “What?” she shrugs.

He reaches for her other hand and clasps her hands between his before responding, “I wish you could see yourself. You truly are a warrior-angel of the goddess Arashu,” he pauses for a moment as his thumbs trace soft circles across the backs of her hands. He wants to say more, but doesn’t trust the sudden flood of emotion not to wrack his body right here in the bustling hospital lounge. 

Instead, he stands and gently pulls her up with him. “Kolyat and I are having lunch on the Presidium. Join us.” It wasn’t a question and as words of protest sat on the tip of her tongue, he pulled her toward him and kissed her, not gently. When they broke apart, he added, “I insist.”

“How can I say no to that?” she asked before she gave him a quick peck on the cheek.


	2. Chapter 2

Shepard has learned that she does a lot of things that she never thought she would. Not one for pomp and circumstance, she enjoys walking through the Citadel with her mixed bag crew at her side. And never having been one for public displays of affection, she unabashedly walks through the Citadel with her fingers intertwined with Thane’s, accepting his kisses whenever they are offered. 

Lately, she couldn’t give a rat’s ass what anyone thought of the company she chose to keep. Perhaps it’s residual left over from having gotten so much flack over her association with Cerberus. But she liked to think that all the diplomacy she was building with once impossible alliances earned her the right to walk where she wanted while holding the hand of the man she loved. 

They met Kolyat at the C-Sec outpost on the Presidium and grabbed lunch at Apollo’s Café. Thane didn’t eat much, which of course, Shepard pretended not to notice. Kolyat smiled not once but twice at one of stories Thane told of the Normandy crew. Shepard looked between father and son and it was her turn to smile like an idiot. Their relationship had come a long way from that night in Talid’s office. She could feel the tears welling in her eyes and she cursed herself for them. Just as she was about to excuse herself so she could take a time-out from the denial game, someone called her name.

“Commander Shepard?” The man asked, as he approached their table. He looked familiar but she couldn’t quite put a name to the face. “I’m Burns,” he continued. “Chairman Martin Burns. You saved my life back on the SSV Ontario when…”

“When a group of L2 radicals took you hostage,” she finished for him, getting to her feet. She extended her hand and when he took it, she continued. “I received an email from you a little while ago, I’m sorry I couldn’t respond.”

“That’s quite alright, Commander. You have more pressing matters to deal with.”

“I certainly hope you’ve kept your word, Chairman,” she said as she slipped into Commander Shepard mode.

He put his hands out defensively, “Of course I have, Commander. I made a mistake before and you gave me a second chance… I didn’t waste it. L2 reparations rolled out as promised, and we have a new program that aims to get L2s upgraded at no cost to them.”

Shepard nodded and the corners of her mouth turned up even though she tried her damndest to stop the smile from spreading. “Happy to hear that, Chairman.”

Taking the hint, he began to back away. “Anyway, I was walking by and saw you and wanted to make sure I thanked you in person for saving my life a few years ago.” And with that, he was gone just as quickly as he’d appeared.

“Shepard,” Kolyat’s voice interrupted her thoughts, causing her to take her seat and drop the Commander persona. “Is there any part of the galaxy that hasn’t been touched by the breadth of your reach?”  
If so, then I’m not doing my job, she thought. Instead of a response, she just smiled at Kolyat, which earned her a shake of his head and a smirk. Good thing too; had he actually smiled for a third time, she might have passed out right there in the café.

He stood to excuse himself as his lunch break was over. He hugged Thane and as he turned to shake Shepard’s hand, they could hear Thane saying a prayer for his son.

With just the two of them at the table and their plates cleared away, Shepard and Thane sat there for a while longer. Their fingers intertwined as they sat across from each other talking softly about better days. When she tuned out the hum of all the people around them, it almost felt like they were back in the life support room aboard the Normandy. Almost.

Before they left, their check came with a note that said lunch had been taken care of by Chairman Burns. Thane left an exorbitant tip anyway.

They continued to mill around the Commons; but instead of holding hands, Thane had an arm lazily draped around Shepard’s waist and she leaned into him while she walked. 

“I never thought I’d be the romantic type, Krios,” Shepard said, stopping to face him, placing both of her hands on his hips. “But I could get used to walking around this place in your arms.”

He closed the distance between them and drank in the gasp that escaped her mouth before it was covered by his. She pulled him closer, wanting to feel as much of him against her as she could. He moved one hand to the small of her back and the other pressed the base of her neck toward him. 

Just as the pressure of their kiss increased, Thane kicked Shepard’s legs from under her. She tightened her grip on him, but he stopped her from falling; cradling her in a dip. The movement caused them to break contact and Shepard let out a yelp at having lost her footing. 

“Then you should come visit more often so that I may woo you, Siha,” Thane said before his lips claimed hers again in a kiss so passionate that the couple garnered an audience.

He broke the kiss first, leaving Shepard breathless as he pulled her upright. By the time they remembered where they were, her cheeks were red hot from embarrassment; the catcalls and whoops from strangers weren’t helping either. Thane brought a hand to her cheek, drawing her attention back to him as he brought his face closer. Cheek to cheek, he whispered, “You are beautiful even when you are embarrassed.” He planted a sweet kiss right in the middle of blush on her cheek before trailing his hand down the side of her body until he clasped her hand in his. They walked around the Citadel like that for what felt like ages.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I would imagine that an oxygen deficiency in the blood would cause a loss of sensation in other places, but I also think they would find a way to work through it.

Thane didn’t stay in his apartment anymore; Huerta Memorial was now his residence. Shepard was sure to clear it with his doctors first, but now she looked forward to curling up next to Thane in his small bed. He had a private room, which was luxury enough in wartime.

“I’m so glad that you were able to spend time with me, Siha,” Thane said as he lay on his back, staring at the ceiling, softly stroking Shepard’s forearm as it lay across his midsection. His other arm was being used as a pillow and was starting to go numb, but he couldn’t care less. “But you do not have to stay when there is a galaxy depending on you.”

She pushed herself up so she could get a better look at him. “The galaxy can wait. There’s no place I’d rather be… Well,” she corrected, “There are certainly some other places I’d rather us be,” she added with a wicked grin. “But there’s absolutely no one I’d rather be with than you, Thane Krios.”

They shared a look that spoke volumes before Shepard leaned down and kissed him, gently nibbling on his bottom lip. He shifted onto his side, without breaking their kiss, so their bodies were better aligned. Shepard was once again lost under his spell and she hadn’t realized she’d curled one leg over his hip, pulling him closer. Her hand began to trail toward the clasp of his pants when he suddenly pulled away and grabbed her wrist, “Siha, wait.”

Her eyes flew open and an apology flew from her lips, not even considering how all the walking they did today must have worn on his already fragile lungs. “I’m being selfish, Thane, I’m sorry,” she said as she moved to untangle herself from him.

He held her leg in place over his hip as he spoke, “No, it is I who am being selfish.” He took a breath as deep as he could without pain before continuing. “This disease has taken from me more than it should have, and it has changed my body in ways I hadn’t expected.” As he continued to speak, his hand began to work its way up her leg and was now resting at the top of the waistband of her pants. 

She brought her hand to his neck and stroked his fringe, “It’s not just about sex, Thane,” she said as gently as she could. “I love you. I fell in love with your personality, the sum of your experiences, and that damn sexy voice of yours,” she added with a wink. “I loved you for you long before I loved your body.”

He undid the button with one hand – how could he possibly be better at taking her clothes off than she was – slid down the zipper and slipped his hand into her panties. “Then allow me this indulgence: to love you with what I have left and to watch you in the throes of pleasure so that I may return to that memory as often as I am able.” His fused fingers slid over her already moist folds before they plunged hungrily into her warmth. The moan that poured from her lips elicited a growl from Thane that she could feel in her chest. Her eyes closed and her hips began to rock with the rhythm of his deft fingers. And when his thumb began to rub firm circles over her clit, Thane’s name fell from lips as her eyes screwed closed.

“Siha, please,” he pleaded, “Look at me,” he begged as his fingers picked up their pace inside of her. She slowly opened her eyes and found Thane’s glossy black eyes in the dim moonlight of the room. Damn the Reapers; damn Cerberus; damn that Godforsaken Kepral’s that was taking him away from her far too soon. 

She could already feel her orgasm building, but she didn’t know how much longer she could hold his gaze. His eyes held the future they would never have together and what the fuck was the point in saving the galaxy when the one person you wanted couldn’t be saved? She climaxed and broke at the same time, tears flowing freely down her face as her mind blurred the line between pleasure and pain. She’d done so well with the Denial game, but lost it all on that last hand.

When she stopped spasming around him, he pulled free and licked her off his fingers before wiping the remainder on the sheets between them. “Siha,” he whispers as he wipes the tears from her cheeks, “I love you.”

Thane’s arms envelop her as she cries herself to sleep on his shoulder. She would never forgive herself for showing such weakness when she was supposed to be strong for him. Yet in that moment, Thane was everything she needed and everything she hoped to have been for him.


	4. Chapter 4

Shepard was jolted awake as a coughing fit tore through Thane’s chest. So startled at the sound that she practically jumped out bed. She sat closer to him so she could rub big circles over his back in the hopes of easing the pain. When he reached for his glass of water on the table near the head of the bed, he knocked it, and the pitcher, onto the floor. 

Without a second thought, she hopped off the bed and went to collect the items. As she was walking, she noticed that her pants were still undone; best to fix that or the tongues will really get to wagging. Pitcher in hand again, she said, “I’m going to get you more water. Do you want me to call for a nurse as well?” she asked before she opened the door. 

He shook his head, unable to speak through the coughing.

Shepard left the room and saw that even though it was the middle of the night cycle, there was still plenty of movement in the hospital. She jogged to the nurse’s station to ask for a refill on the pitcher. When the nurse returned, she also handed Shepard two pills, “I’m sure he didn’t ask for these, but they will help with the cough so that he can get some rest.” 

“Thank you,” Shepard said, more relieved than she should have been. When she turned around, Garrus was walking toward her.

“Oh, no. No, no, no,” she said, not slowing her pace as she neared him. “It has NOT been 24 hours yet.”

“Well, when you go off comm, you aren’t privy to all the interesting developments that have happened since we last saw each other,” he replied, turning abruptly so he could keep her pace. He grabbed her arm and stopped moving so she would stop too. “Shepard, I’m sorry, but the Normandy has already been cleared for take-off. All she’s missing is her CO.”

Shepard cut her eyes at Garrus and gave him a death stare. She had slipped into Commander Shepard without him even noticing. “And who in the hell authorized that?”

“I did,” Garrus said without hesitation. “Look, Commander, I don’t know what’s going on, but you have a Turian Primarch, a Krogan Clan Leader, and a Salarian Scientist all in agreement in the same small room. It’s either really great news or spectacularly awful. Whichever it may be, none of us will find out until you’re there.”

Her shoulders dropped; she could only be so selfish before she had to go back to putting the mission first. Without a word, she stepped around Garrus and continued to Thane’s room. 

“Duty calls,” Thane said solemnly when she returned to refill his glass. 

“I’m sorry, but it looks like I’ve got to go to Tuchanka,” she said flatly. 

“Siha, don’t be like that,” Thane said as he took a few sips from the freshly poured glass. “We’ve always known the day would come,” he added and she knew his meaning. “You cannot save everyone, but you do have the power to save hundreds of millions.”

“Commander,” Garrus interrupted from just on the other side of the open door.

“Five minutes, Garrus,” was her response.

“Shepard,” he said, with more force.

She turned and gave him a look so sharp she’d swear he lost a bit of his shields. “Five minutes,” he echoed, “Aye, Commander.”

She stepped closer to Thane as he sat with his legs dangling over the side of the bed. He took her hands in his as she nestled between his legs. She leaned forward and her forehead came to rest on his. They stayed this way long enough for the silence to be uncomfortable; for Shepard at least. “I should go,” she finally breathed, voice cracking at the words. 

Thane brought her hands to his face and kissed her knuckles. “I think of us often, Siha,” he said as he continued giving her hands his undivided attention. “Never lose hope,” he said as he released her hands and cradled her face instead. “I love you,” he said as she stared back at him. 

They kissed, and while she tried, desperately, not to think of it as a goodbye kiss, that’s exactly what it felt like. A stray tear rolled down her cheek as they pulled apart. Thane kissed it away and whispered, “I wish I could be there to watch you save the galaxy.”

“You’re always with me,” she replied, choking back a sob. Shepard pulled away and straightened up. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

And with one last glance, she turned on her heels and he watched as the Commander left him behind. Shepard walked into his arms that morning but the Commander walked out of his room that night. He closed his eyes and began to pray.


	5. Chapter 5

Garrus was good enough to have moved away from the door. She found him pacing near the entrance to the patient lounge. 

“By the way,” Shepard started as they walked together out to the elevator, “Who put you in charge of the Normandy while I’m away?”

“I haven’t spent this long with a Spectre and not picked up a reputation of my own.”

“I’m sensing a but…” She looked at him just in time to catch his mandibles flare out. 

“But everyone seems to think I’m the only person on board that you wouldn’t shoot if they interrupted… You know,” he finished. 

Shepard huffed and smiled in spite of her best efforts not to. “You _are_ the only person to have shot me and lived to tell the tale,” she said. 

Feigning indignation, Garrus turned to face her as they stepped into the elevator to head back to the docking bay. “Me? Shoot my Commanding Officer? Shepard, you must have me confused with some other incredibly handsome Turian vigilante.”

She nudged him with her shoulder and they both laughed. He was the only person that could pull her out of a bad mood. She and Garrus had survived two suicide missions (so far) and came back from the dead, or in Garrus’ case, just the brink of death. 

“Oh, before I forget, and before you find out from some of the other crew,” he started tinkering with his Omni-Tool. “I had no idea you were such a romantic, Shepard,” he said as he shifted so she could see the screen.

“Oh no… I knew that would end up on the Extranet!” Shepard said as shook her head. “Send that to me, would you?”

\-----

Thane had barely gotten comfortable when his Omni-Tool pinged. At this hour, it could only be one of two people. A smile spread across his face when he saw it was from his Siha. He opened the message to find a photo of them kissing. It was from earlier in the day when they had an audience in the Commons. Below the image she wrote:

_Let’s make more memories like this. I love you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you made it this far, thanks for reading my first post here!


End file.
